Hall of Mirrors

Hall of Mirrors,

on your instruction i must see inside myself

because that comes so easy.

Hall of Mirrors-

Amusement Park of Horrors:

Little versions of

what I should be

what I want to be me

what may actually be

and what isn’t,

dancing around in a sing-song ritual mocking of

standards set too high…and far too low.

In this

Hall of Mirrors

time is ticking by and all I see is what I’ve always seen,

except now there are persistent re-runs of all the me’s I’ve been-

Where is my promised epiphany?

A cynical smile leads to that dimpled smile..

I like that side of you.

Do you?

There’s the Speaking Hall of Mirrors.

A little too much,

a little not enough,

that’s not quite right

and so I’m left

poking and prodding

and wishing for wishes,

wishing for witches,

willing to give up my sense of common sense for-

smoke?

Smoke and

Halls of Mirrors?

Illusionists, it’s illusions

it’s not

real it’s myth

but it’s the only thing true to me…

It’s what I believe but i never want to see.

Beautiful.

Thrown back at me

a sneer and a plea.

Neither side will concede

till the the shards make me bleed

because they broke us both

in an attempt to help me heal.

Morohanotsurugi

Every day a little closer to the truth.
Every day a little further away.
Always such a fine line that divides the two.
With the hostile tug-of-war between fire and ice –
little Mary’s become a little sinful:
spilling blood in the pews,
dragging her fingers through the ashes,
and drinking the holy water while she dances
and Father disapproves…

I found ways to build walls
protecting myself, protecting you.
You found ways to twist the truth,
justifying your self-inflicted wounds.
In the end we stand with our backs pressed
against each other
breath fogging both sides of the mirror
and our hearts held in the grasps of the
people we thought we knew.