I want to cloak myself in silence.
I want to be alone in a universe of my own,
To exist with no one –
The first being
Or the last.
Maybe if I tilt my soul so some of the madness leaks into their own atmospheres they will begin to understand,
when their undisturbed galaxies have a few
of my burning planets.
But I attempt to speak and
A tangled mess falls from my lips and we all stare as it hangs there in the air…
What choice exists but to shove it away while I have some dignity left?
I beg again and again for silence,
for time that should be mine yet
In the same breath that I wish I no longer had to exist
I must remind myself I don’t have that option.
In the same breath that I wish they could understand
I must understand why they cannot.
I sit with my feet stretched over the edge
Further over it than anyone seems to realize,
More in need to control how quickly I will fall than I have ever been.