Thoughts from the edge

I want to cloak myself in silence.

I want to be alone in a universe of my own,

To exist with no one –

The first being

Or the last.

 

I think:

Maybe if I tilt my soul so some of the madness leaks into their own atmospheres they will begin to understand,

when their undisturbed galaxies have a few

of my burning planets.

But I attempt to speak and

A tangled mess falls from my lips and we all stare as it hangs there in the air…

What choice exists but to shove it away while I have some dignity left?

 

I beg again and again for silence,

for peace,

for escape,

for time that should be mine yet

 

In the same breath that I wish I no longer had to exist

I must remind myself I don’t have that option.

In the same breath that I wish they could understand

I must understand why they cannot.

 

I sit with my feet stretched over the edge

Further over it than anyone seems to realize,

More in need to control how quickly I will fall than I have ever been.